Declined Twitter Sex Invites
I’d like to thank the Twitter follower that I blocked this morning for making me realize that women have backs and full-frontal. The inclusion of ###on me in your URL address was also a nice touch. That sort of attention to your self-marketing strategy will, no doubt, land you opportunities on the card rack at Spencer Gifts. Congrats on retouching out the implant scars, although there’s still a hint of a low-gravity environment with regard to altitude. I’m sure your eight followers appreciate it though.
Later the same day…
Thank you @EleniHerbin5761 for following me and directing me to the website where I might F**K or Pass the supplied photo. While I am also interested in exploring my sexuality, I fear that my orange chakra burns way too brightly for 140 characters. My best to you, and the girl attached to the arm attached to the hand on your behind. Give my best to your mom.
Dec. 5, 2011
Dear @Laurith43, thank you for following me, and directing me to JustHookup.com. Please give my best to Kats-creme and Busty-Delia. How convenient this page makes it were I interested – as the copy suggests – in a local *u*K Buddy. I am just chock-full and have ventured into South Carolina, because Jacksonville? Gross. Thanks for thinking of my needs as I prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. Cheers. Oh, and you can just keep the Jello mold.
Dec. 7, 2011
Thank you Imogene Conte for taking the time on your, no doubt, busy Pearl Harbor Day to both follow me and direct me to gangbang-sex67.info. Unfortunately, that lead me back to JustHookup.com, a place to which I was directed just two days ago. Variety is the spice of life, my dear. Good luck on your Algebra-Trig test, and don’t forget to do steps 2 and 3 of your Proactive regiment. You might be surprised to learn that skin is the biggest organ.
Dec. 8, 2011
Well, Suzybriceo855, you know me all too well. What made you suspect that I commemorate the day of John Lennon’s murder by looking at local porn? There’s nothing I like to Imagine more than women bonding with plumbing fixtures. Having your link lead me to one making nice with a hot tub faucet was so convenient. It’s a Kohler; am I right? Like me, you must have found out in garden club that they are the best at not making your watering cans gag. Don’t forgot to fertilize your pansies! Give my love to Mr. Rooter.
Later that day…
Who knew that Dec. 8 was hardcore sex invite day? Thanks to Shauna Downs424 of hardcoresexpart2 and Stumpmvz of hardcore-gangbang-sex91 for reminding me to go hardcore or go home. Are those jeans from Pennies, JCSlut? They’re the only place to find stone-washed these days, am I right? Holler sometime. We’ll head over to Wilson’s Leather and compare belt buckles. P.S. Did I leave my mousse in the back of your Colt?