Social Networking: The Click or You’re a Prick Tactic
I am trying to learn this social networking thing, and it’s a royal pain in the ass. I want to publicize my writing, develop fans, likes, licks, whatever. I want to grow, but I’m not some kid with a sign. I’m not a talking dog or a lion once sold in a department store. How can I be like these people who are drawing the crowds. My comments section is so roomy!
What I hate are the people on Facebook who are aggressive at soliciting clicks. Their pitches begin with talk of Jesus, a missing teen, a person struggling with a horrible deadly disease. It’s something that’s been shared half a million times, but in the process the leading text has been bastardized.
Click here if you love Jesus.
If you don’t click this, you godless son-of-a-bitch, I’m going to fucking rape your skull with Deuteronomy!
Missing Girl! Please Share!
If you don’t click this, I’m going to tell your mama and the FBI she’s in your basement!
You make me hate your cause when you pull shit like that! You make me bash my cart into random people in Target, just in the off chance they are you! I love puppies, orphans, people who overcome giant obstacles, but I want to drive over your three-legged poodle now! I want to find your missing person and punch them in the face for knowing you via that SHARE. You aren’t helping your causes Click or Prick People.